REDNECK MEDICAL TERMS:

Artery...................................The study of paintings.
Benign..................................What you be after you be eight.
Bacteria................................Back door to cafeteria.
Barium..................................What doctors do when patients die.
Caesarian Section...............The Italian part of town.
CAT scan.............................Searching for kitty.
Cauterize.............................Made eye contact with her.
Colic.....................................A sheep dog.
Coma....................................A punctuation mark.
D & C...................................Where Washington is.
Dilate....................................To live long.
Enema...................................Not a friend.
Fester....................................Quicker than someone else.
Fibula.....................................A small lie.
Genital...................................Non-Jewish person.
GI Series...............................World Series of military baseball.
Hangnail................................What you hang your coat on.
Impotent................................Distinguished, well known.
Labor Pain.............................Getting hurt at work.
Medical Staff.........................A Doctor's cane.
Morbid...................................A higher offer than I bid.
Nitrates..................................Cheaper than day rates.
Node.......................................I knew it.
Outpatient..............................A person who has fainted.
Pap Smear.............................A fatherhood test.
Pelvis......................................Second Cousin to Elvis.
Post Operative.......................A letter carrier.
Recovery Room.....................Place to do upholstery.
Rectum...................................Darn near killed him.
Secretion................................Hiding something.
Seizure...................................Roman emperor.
Tablet.....................................A small table.
Terminal Illness.....................Getting sick at the airport.
Tumor.....................................A couple extra.
Urine.......................................Opposite of you're out.
Varicose.................................Near by/close by.